Those Dastardly E-mails and Dude, Republicans, Am I Right?

I think Hillary Clinton should go to jail. She’s a politician. Lock ‘em all up. Fuck it.

You know, it’s kind of a shame, really. What’s wrong with a leading statesperson using a private email account for all of their documentation? It shows incentive. It demonstrates their dedication to the job. She had a whole server installed in her own home, just so she could store all that stuff! That’s pretty impressive. If I had employees that took sensitive client information that wasn’t supposed to leave the office home with them, I’d probably give them a promotion. And then kill myself.

Speaking of, I think the best demonstration against our patriarchal society is to hold sit-ins at home improvement stores. These fucking establishments are *literally* the embodiment of mansplaining, masculine dominance, wimp-submission, and white supremacy. I was at one of these places just last night because I had to pick up some window plastic—I got a house recently, and the windows in the bedroom seriously need to be fucking replaced, but hey, I’ve got priorities and ONE of those priorities is shitposting on the internet about my worthless political opinion when I should be putting my head on the railroad tracks—and, man, so anyway, while I was there, I saw this massive in-store endorsement, one of those “ask customer service if you can’t find something because you’re fucking retarded” signs, and it showed a black man behind the controls of a forklift giving a thumbs-up sign. Think about that. A black man. As if that black man was in his natural American environment. As if America wasn’t *literally* BUILT ON HIS BONES. The racism was, to be brutally honest, revolting on every level, and as a citizen of the world, I almost apologized to the cashier as she checked me out for having to work in such an oppressive establishment. She knows what it’s like in ways I can’t even begin to imagine. Being a woman, after all, in a store not just built out of black skeletons, but paved also with the tears of countless wives and daughters as they watched their husbands and fathers saunter in with money and saunter out with more metaphors of manhood and vessels of compensatory phallic images. This shit makes me sick. Physically sick. Racially sick.

You have to understand. These people, they don’t know any better. They’re all psychologically sick. Listening to Fox News. Or reading Drudge. They’re crazy people. Republicans. And we don’t want crazy people who think it’s a good idea to bar liars, thieves, communists, murderers, sociopaths, terrorists, and traitors from public office as our lawmakers or politicians. We want the lunatics running the asylum. I’m not totally sure how I’d go to bed at night if I didn’t believe my democratically-elected government wasn’t completely riddled with blinding incompetence, treasonous self-interest, and unilateral corruption. I’d start to think the system had failed, somehow. Which is why Trump is a bully. For real. What does it even MEAN to Make America Great Again? I don’t see why his multi-billion dollar success story is any kind of track record to run on, to be quite perfectly honest. I mean, it’s Twenty-Sixteen. Come on. They’re all basically comic book villains who just want to cut the throat of every non-WASP in the country and bomb Muslims, when you think about it.  We should just follow Europe’s example.

When you get older and get married and own a house and raise a few kids, you start to realize that the world is a terrifying place in ways that your edgy teenage self had absolutely no frame of reference to even remotely comprehend.

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