The Last Jedi is a Failure, Part 5 – The Mouse Is Hungry

This has been an overlong analysis, but now it finally pays off.  What was the purpose of this film?  Why was it actually made, and why was it made so seemingly incompetently?  What did Disney hope to gain from it all?  Was it just a marketing endeavor?  Was the virtue signalling just the cherry on top?  Not exactly.  The Mouse is a bit more sinister than that. Continue reading “The Last Jedi is a Failure, Part 5 – The Mouse Is Hungry”

The Last Jedi is a Failure, Part 4 – The Moron with a Thousand Faces

George Lucas somewhat autistically based his original Star Wars storyline on a well-known piece of pop-critique by Joseph Campbell, with Luke Skywalker being the locus of the action and ultimate hero of the saga.  He’s a little dimwitted but ultimately good, and he rises to becoming great, in every sense of the word.  Unfortunately, The Last Jedi was written by people who spent more time learning about postmodern subversion techniques by frequenting fanfiction websites than they did studying literature or mythologies, so instead of Luke having matured into a wise old mentor figure, we’re left with this retarded Diogenes knock-off who’s apparently a moron. Continue reading “The Last Jedi is a Failure, Part 4 – The Moron with a Thousand Faces”

The Last Jedi Is a Failure, Part 3 – The Return of Zutara Fanfiction

A dashing, psychologically unbalanced, absurdly talented villain begins spending time with a pretty, talented young girl with a savior complex.  They go together like fire and water!  That’s right, Star Wars: The Last Jedi was written by a bunch of emotionally stunted and middle-aged Avatar: The Last Airbender fans with deviantart accounts.  And it shows. Continue reading “The Last Jedi Is a Failure, Part 3 – The Return of Zutara Fanfiction”

The Last Jedi is a Failure, Part 2 – Poe’s & Finn’s Un-Excellent Adventures

Read Part 1 of this analysis here.  This segment continues where we left off, diving right into the madness we’re supposed to accept as appropriate storytelling out of Poe’s and Finn’s arcs through The Last Jedi.  Poe will learn that leadership is subservience and that ignorance is knowledge, while Finn will learn that no cause is ever good enough to warrant dying for.  Except sometimes when it is. Continue reading “The Last Jedi is a Failure, Part 2 – Poe’s & Finn’s Un-Excellent Adventures”

ANALYSIS: The Last Jedi, Failure, and How Not to Write a Story (Part 1 of 5)

There are plenty of things wrong with Star Wars: The Last Jedi.  If you haven’t seen it yet, I highly advise you not to.  If you like Star Wars, this film insultingly treats you like a retard and seems to have been written by people who haven’t seen any of the previous eight films that bear the title—not even The Force Awakens.  If you dislike Star Wars already, the film isn’t coherent enough to be appropriate as an attack on the franchise, either.  Worse than being a jumbled, incompetent mess, the film seems to be a joke at the audience’s expense, treating them mostly as idiots too stupid to notice contradictions in what is said versus what is depicted. Continue reading “ANALYSIS: The Last Jedi, Failure, and How Not to Write a Story (Part 1 of 5)”

Blade Runner 2049 Is No More Sexist Than Feminism Has Asked It To Be

The world of Blade Runner asks a lot of its audience.  At once futuristic, abstract, and startlingly familiar, the newest installment injects audiences into a dream-like expressionistic landscape populated by replicants, holograms, AI, dazzling architecture, and the occasional human being.  Surprisingly, 2049 manages to explore themes of humanity, companionship, and the relationship between the sexes that most science fiction stories leave either completely untouched or woefully underdeveloped.

This general analysis does contain spoilers. Continue reading “Blade Runner 2049 Is No More Sexist Than Feminism Has Asked It To Be”

REVIEW: Blade Runner 2049 (Denis Villeneuve, 2017)

If there’s only one time you want to make it to a movie theatre in 2017, it should be now.  This seems to be the only movie worth braving the crowds, incessant stench of over-buttered popcorn, traffic, and noise to go outside to watch.  It’s got everything anyone should want from a movie, except perhaps a satisfying finale.  And since I actually think it’s worth seeing, I’ll be avoiding spoilers for this review. Continue reading “REVIEW: Blade Runner 2049 (Denis Villeneuve, 2017)”

Wolverine, the MCU, and What Comic Book Movies Have Become

Marvel’s Cinematic Universe is dog shit.  I’ve been working intermittently on a series of posts about it for about a year at this point, but I keep returning to the same fundamental problem.  There’s nothing there.  Almost every movie is the same movie, and every one of them sucks.

But how did we get here?  Is the MCU the logical continuation of the general trends in the comic book movie genre?  Do they reflect the prevailing interests and entertainment needs of society at large, do they cater to the lowest common denominator?  If they do, what’s changed, if anything? Continue reading “Wolverine, the MCU, and What Comic Book Movies Have Become”

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