The 2016 Death List

It’s over.  Liberals can, at last, breathe out a sigh of relief.  2016 can’t kill any more of their decadent dreams, debauched celebrity heroes, and media trustworthiness.  Everywhere, they disowned 2016—crying out in a voice dissimilar only in accent to their ugly English-reject comedian’s haughtiness, “it’s the current year, b-but, the current year sucks!  I mean, come on!”  2016 took with it their trust in the media pundits, their faith in a system that had been slanted in their favor for years, their ideologically purity of candidate Bernie Sanders and, later, the historical certainty, the fairness, of candidate Hillary Clinton.  It robbed them of the satisfaction that the last eight years of direct cultural warfare under President Obama had tried to tell them they deserved.  It laughed at their attempts to secure moral high grounds and shocked them when they realized that ironic anonymous internet trolls had better senses of humor than they did—or, even, that these trolls had senses of humor at all!  And of course, in its passing, 2016 took a long list of celebrities that many of the more shallow among us modeled our public opinions after. Continue reading “The 2016 Death List”

The Neon Demon (Nicolas Winding Refn, 2016)

If there is one word to describe Refn’s films, that word would probably be a synonym for “indulgence.”  From his early crime-grit violent escapades of Pusher and Bleeder, to the biopic Bronson and his later period work, each film carries in it a love for excess.  This excess isn’t even of gore or violence—these are means to his ends—this excess is of fundamental sensations.  Refn seeks to build the world that he lives in around the viewers and keep them there until long after they’ve left the movie theatre and all the colors, aesthetics, driving synthesized scores, and landscapes have faded from recent memory. Continue reading “The Neon Demon (Nicolas Winding Refn, 2016)”

Those Dastardly E-mails and Dude, Republicans, Am I Right?

I think Hillary Clinton should go to jail. She’s a politician. Lock ‘em all up. Fuck it.

You know, it’s kind of a shame, really. What’s wrong with a leading statesperson using a private email account for all of their documentation? It shows incentive. It demonstrates their dedication to the job. She had a whole server installed in her own home, just so she could store all that stuff! That’s pretty impressive. If I had employees that took sensitive client information that wasn’t supposed to leave the office home with them, I’d probably give them a promotion. And then kill myself. Continue reading “Those Dastardly E-mails and Dude, Republicans, Am I Right?”

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