“It’s Not Up to Me.”

“Well, that’s just your opinion, man. We’ll juts have to agree to disagree.”

Sure. We can agree to disagree on the indisputable fact that mayonnaise has no business being on a hamburger. We can agree to disagree that driving a stick shift makes for a more pleasant experience when outside of major cities. We can even agree to disagree over whether Natalie Portman was more attractive in Attack of the Clones than Carrie Fischer was in The Return of the Jedi. Continue reading ““It’s Not Up to Me.””

Left or Right – The Utopian Nightmare

In contemporary political discourse, the terms left and right are thrown around so often that they’ve nearly degraded to the point of being insubstantial memes.  “Right-Wing Extremists” has been a term swung like a baseball bat by the media and by academics since the New Left rose to prominence in the sixties, and it was an amusing enough rhetorical cudgel given the fact that almost none of the terrorist acts committed by Americans during those chaotic decades were even remotely ‘right-wing’ no matter how you defined it.  “The Left,” on the other hand, has become a lovable boogieman used by alt-media commentators since the internet became a usable media platform, but it’s devolved to resembling a word that simply means whatever I don’t like. Continue reading “Left or Right – The Utopian Nightmare”

The Last Jedi is a Failure, Part 4 – The Moron with a Thousand Faces

George Lucas somewhat autistically based his original Star Wars storyline on a well-known piece of pop-critique by Joseph Campbell, with Luke Skywalker being the locus of the action and ultimate hero of the saga.  He’s a little dimwitted but ultimately good, and he rises to becoming great, in every sense of the word.  Unfortunately, The Last Jedi was written by people who spent more time learning about postmodern subversion techniques by frequenting fanfiction websites than they did studying literature or mythologies, so instead of Luke having matured into a wise old mentor figure, we’re left with this retarded Diogenes knock-off who’s apparently a moron. Continue reading “The Last Jedi is a Failure, Part 4 – The Moron with a Thousand Faces”

The Riddle of Steel

In the 1982 action-adventure adaptation of Robert E. Howard’s pulp series Conan the Barbarian, director John Milius pits Arnold Schwarzenegger against James Earl Jones in a conflict that spans part of a continent, decades of life, and the dialectic between slavery and freedom.  It turned out to be a moderate financial success, reaping impressive profits in the home video market for years after its distribution, and it continues to be something of a mainstay in the popular culture to this day.  It’s not exactly Star Wars-tier in terms of recognition, but Star Wars has had the benefit of a major series of feature film revivals pumped out once every fifteen years.  The most Conan can say is that it got the predictable stripped-down remake a couple years back that everyone has conveniently forgotten about. Continue reading “The Riddle of Steel”

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